Trial and Error

It's been a while since my last post; roaming an empty campus for a weekend with a good friend and then heading to Panama City Beach for a great time with even more good friends are to blame. Seriously, between having to use a left-behind microwave to cook instant food for meals and late-night cigar discussions on theology, the past week or so of my life has been absolutely enriching. But now it's time to come back to the real world...

After 17 hours of being on the road in two days, I'm finally back home in Northern Virginia and ready to hit the ground running. Tomorrow I'm heading into Washington for an interview with Dr. Brian Becker, who just might hopefully find that I'm useful enough to keep around for the rest of the summer. I don't really know what economics looks like in the professional world, so getting the chance to work for an Economics Firm will be eye-opening in a lot of ways. I'd really like to end up enjoying post-graduation economics....seeing as it's one of my majors and everything. The interview's at 2:30 which means I'll have plenty of time to be productive before then; I'm looking forward to meeting some old friends, perhaps finally exercising again, and most importantly, seeking God's wisdom in everything.

I'm almost afraid to fall asleep tonight because of how much of my plan for this summer is going to start tomorrow morning when I wake up. In the morning I'll be waking up not with a pursuit of responsibility, or health, or even discipline on its own; I want to live an experience of grace that pulls discipline into my life, letting Christ be the one to set out my reasons for doing things. But what does that look like? Waking-up early and going for runs is great and everything but it's useless without a higher reason. If I'm going to get anything out of forcing responsibility on myself this summer, it needs to be with a desire to actively realize God's grace binding everything I do. I wonder what just a day would be like if we spent every second of it with an awareness of who we are in relation to who God is, and everything that follows. Jonathan Edwards once said "The love of God, in the most eminent saints in this world, is truly very little in comparison of what it ought to be." The first time I read that I felt comfort, conviction, encouragement, and a whole lot of other things at once. It's great to know that I'm not the only one struggling to really, truly, intentionally love God in everything I do, but it's also a trenchant observation on the state of human affairs in our relation to a God who is Love. It's also encouraging to know there's room for improvement in all of this; I think I need to look after all of these things to get anywhere that really matters this summer. There will definitely be trials to encounter, which means there will be more than a few errors as well... but that's where growing happens, and growth is something that everyone can find joy in...

See you tomorrow!

Brian